Will it make me happier?

Usually, it doesn't cross my mind...usually.

But then I think the devil sees me being all happy and he's like 

"oh hell no, I'm gonna throw a stick in her spoke..."

and then all of a sudden, it crosses my mind.

"Will it make me happier?"

For example:

Check out my schoolhouse. It's awesome.

 We used to do school in the kitchen.

So, did the schoolhouse make me happier?

YEP. It sure did.

Did my kids want this? No, not really.

Did this make them happier? No, they were already happy.

But it made me happy. Very happy.

Another example:

That time I had to have a juicer.

I don't have a picture of it, but here is what my face looks like when I think back about that thing. 

Really seriously, that thing rocked.

But did it make me happy?

Nope, not in the least.

So why did I think that it would?

Well, at the time, everyone else had it! Everyone on IG was over here like "This juicer changed my life" so I was like 

"OMG I better get one cause it's life changing..."

So I did.

And, it changed nothing. Except the amount of money I spent on fruit. Which was delicious at times, but it wasn't me.

It was something that someone else had and I had convinced myself that IF I had that juicer I would somehow be happier!

It didn't work.

(Not technically, that sucker worked awesome)

What didn't work was my thought process.

I thought that by jumping on the wagon to buy something "material", because everyone else swore it was so great, that I too would then have some big revelation.

What was I thinking would happen?

Hell, I don't know. I seriously don't even know.

I jumped in half way & half-(fill in the blank)

and failed miserably. 

Because it wasn't my idea. It wasn't something for me.

It was for everyone else.

I'm glad now that I'm so mature and never make the same mistakes 

as I did when I was 30. 

Cause now I'm 31 1/2 and boom, I'm super mature.

Nope that's another lie. Just a few days ago I had a really

rough day that left me feeling extremely inadequate in

nearly every area of my life :(

I started looking at everyone else and wondering how can everyone get so much joy out of "things" but I can't?

Maybe I should buy that or do that. 

Maybe that will bring me joy, make me happier.

I went back to being 23 years old and insecure in who I was.

I didn't stand firm in my own head and say to myself,

"Self, get it together. We know who we are!"

And I crumbled at the seams. It was a sad day.

That person is not me. It never has been.

I normally hold my ground in nearly everything.

I don't fall to peer pressure and I try to be that person on

the other end helping others see that it is OK to be who YOU are.

After talking with my hubby about my feelings that day,

he helped remind me who I am and why I don't need those "things".

I suppose the hardest part for me was knowing the devil

reared his ugly head and brought me down for a short time.

My friends, we all fail.

It's totally cool though.

Cause if we can SEE our failure and know how to handle it

in the future, we will be so much better.

We can be leaders instead of followers.

Not everyone will be like me, or you.

But especially me cause apparently I'm so difficult.

And I'm good with that cause what makes me happy is not what

will make you happy.

If you are that grown adult who labels happiness with stuff,

start replacing that stuff with nothing.

Take the "stuff" away.

Go to the bare-minimum and see who YOU are and what YOU want.

I even would challenge you to PRAY about it.

Yes I said pray.

I dare you, triple dog dare you. Just try it.

Ask God to help you see your happiness more clearly...

Maybe I made no sense with this post?

Not really sure...and I'm not even gonna proof read it cause 

I have to make dinner for my family.

Anywho...

Happy New Year friends! 

XOXOXO

ERIN.THEMOM