mom, i can't find any socks!

i'm not the mom that thinks everything 

her kids does is cute.

it's.just.not.me. 

i think THEY are cute.

but sometimes, ok most times,

i think they are just trying to make me crazy.

and i'm about to break.

how do they do this?

yesterday i tried to keep it together all day and then

finally, after a very long, irritating, exhausting day,

my son couldn't find any socks. any.

seriously. i lost it.

i wanted to run away from home because we all know.

we ALL know where the socks are.

there is an whole flipping basket of socks.

in the laundry room. where the socks go.

how is that so hard?

have they ever not been there?

hmm. nope. they have always been there.

in. the. sock. basket.

so naturally, i blame myself for this.

as i'm prepping for my moms night out,

digging through the laundry for football uniforms,

soccer uniforms and stupid, stupid socks,

i say to myself, 

"self. it's your fault cause you didn't do the stupid socks".

then i grumble around trying not to yell out bad words.

cause ya, i'm that mom.

and i don't need to hide that from you.

i say bad words occasionally which i am not proud of, 

and since i'm being so honest, that's the real me.

then, i go really crazy.

the crazy where your gonna blow like a volcano but you get

this sudden really scary calm.

the one where you even scare yourself a bit.

and i thought, "WHAT have i taught these kids in the

11 years that i've been a parent?"

what have i taught them? WHAT?

they can't even find socks. 

s.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y.

then failure pops back in my head. 

i'm failing my kids if they can't even do that!

let me back up to tell you some recent ventures.

these are a few things that have currently happened or

happen on a regular basis, adding to my insanity level.

1. one kid wiped his butt on my white shower curtain.

2. there are way too many forts being built in the house.

3. those forts never get all the way cleaned up.

4. the dogs poops are apparently enormous and the boys 

are struggling with cleaning them up. thus they dramatize it.

5. i have one boy that's a verbal fighter and the other

is physical. it gets really ugly, really fast.

6. 5th grade math is dramatic, apparently.

7. i keep stepping on legos and train tracks and someone is gonna

die if it keeps happening.

8. we go go go from sun up til sun down and i'm exhausted.

9. i really don't want to see every single way you can

transform your lego hero factory son! but i will, for you.

10. why does the boys room smell like hamsters? and farts.

we all have our different ways of handling things.

i bet you're the mom who stays calm, right?

ok well that's nice.

i really do try! i swear i do.

but i can most likely guarantee that we live

totally different lives.

and like the old saying goes, "walk a mile in my shoes.."

i can wake up at 5, make breakfast and lunch,

keep my house clean, homeschool my kids, blog and

take my kids to sports 6 days a week.

but it takes its toll on me after a while.

i've been told i do too much.

well, duh.

but what i don't do is this:

i don't sit down.

i don't watch reality tv.

i don't talk on the phone.

i don't gossip.

i don't bicker.

i love my kids AND my husband.

i don't get into other peoples drama.

i don't take naps.

i don't play on my phone all day.

i see my life this way.

i have maybe 50 more years on this earth.

i'm gonna use it all up to make a difference in my life and 

in my kids lives too.

at the end of the day, i might question 

"why can't my kids do socks?"

but i don't question whether or not i gave it my all.

cause that's a guarantee. i did.

so last night i decided 2 things.

1. i'm gonna punch tomorrow right in the face.

2. after i punch it, it's gonna be a better day.

the kids should be up shortly and

guess what they will be doing today? socks.

i might even sit right next to them and do absolutely

nothing while they do it too.

or maybe i'll go build a fort in their room,

leave it there, wipe my butt on their curtains,

throw legos everywhere and ask 80 million questions with 

no intention of listening to anyone's answers.

and it will be a good day.

.erinthemom.